New Year's Eve.
2015 is done and gone. And holy shit did I learn a lot and grow this year. I may still be lacking in some areas and could definitely afford to do some more growing, but one of the things I really gained this year was a huge expansion of my level of self-awareness. Also, through some of the mistakes I made this past year, I've reaffirmed some things that are important to me that I need to hold in the forefront of my priorities each day and that I also need to trust in myself more.
One huge focus for room to grow and improve in 2016, though, is in the area of finances and in my relationship that I have with money. I can't expect to ever have any or build any of it if my relationship with it now is one where I have probably the worst spending and savings habits of anyone that has ever existed. EVER. It's that bad. So yeah, I guess that's my biggest "resolution" that I have. To improve my money spending/saving habits.
Sayonarra 2015.
Hello 2016. Let's do this.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Housing situation and now a possible new business pioneer? wtf?
Yes, you read the subject line correctly, there are THAT drastic things going on my life right now that it seems a miracle I'm able to keep up at times. For those of you who don't know what's been going on, about a month and a half ago st received a letter from the Housing Authority stating that the program that had been paying for my rental assistance and, abruptly, run out of funds, and that I was no longer eligible for any type of housing assistance as of February 1, 2016. So translation: awesome, I'm going to be homeless on February 1. Fast forward a couple of weeks I spent in a self-destructive, meth'd out haze with the attitude of "fuck it I'm going to be homeless anyway" I received pieces of wonderful information regarding the situation. 1 - AFAN has a grantee on their board that saw the situation that was caused by pulling the housing assistance out from underneath so many families and others that are dependent on that assistance to maintain their homes that they decided they were going to help and they donated enough money to offer me and others in this situation an extension of the program assistance that would stretch out for another year. Once that year is up, however, you're on your own. The other, 2nd option, is that because of the circumstances, the Housing Authority is now offering me and others affected by this their full conventional housing option which would cover my rent entirely in a unit of their choice. So I'm basically stuck now not sure which direction to take or which option to choose. Another option became a possibility today after talking with a good friend of mine who, I believe, would probably be the best roommate ever for me.
This same potential roommate is also the one who approached me last night with an update on the business she is trying to get started. I've never thought I'd be in this position; I always thought I'd be the administrative assistant or assistant manager but never one in a position that I have no found myself in. After she explained the concept of what she wants her new business to be, I couldn't help but get excited because it is regarding something I am VERY familiar and skilled with: social media.
She wants to start a social media marketing company where we take on clients and do their social media for them at cost and make a profit off of that. And that, in my opinion, is sheer genius.
Anyway, after talking about more details and more aspects of what this is going to look like, I made my official statement to her to sign me up for this, that I would absolutely love to be a part of getting this new business venture started and making a big impact with our product we produce. I'm super excited. Nervous, but excited. Nice way to close out 2015. =]
This same potential roommate is also the one who approached me last night with an update on the business she is trying to get started. I've never thought I'd be in this position; I always thought I'd be the administrative assistant or assistant manager but never one in a position that I have no found myself in. After she explained the concept of what she wants her new business to be, I couldn't help but get excited because it is regarding something I am VERY familiar and skilled with: social media.
She wants to start a social media marketing company where we take on clients and do their social media for them at cost and make a profit off of that. And that, in my opinion, is sheer genius.
Anyway, after talking about more details and more aspects of what this is going to look like, I made my official statement to her to sign me up for this, that I would absolutely love to be a part of getting this new business venture started and making a big impact with our product we produce. I'm super excited. Nervous, but excited. Nice way to close out 2015. =]
Monday, December 28, 2015
"....and your true wings will be revealed."
You have wings of steel. No one's really sure why, but at this point in your life you've shut off emotion to the point of extreme apathy. You are cold and indifferent much of the time...or perhaps you're just a good pretender. Next to impossible to get close to, even those who do never see the real you.
You have a certain fascination or attraction to destruction on a massive scale -- disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much inside, one day you're simply going to snap.
Then the mask will fall away and your true wings will be revealed. Until then you will deal with whatever comes your way in an icy, bitter silence and acceptance. On the positive side, you are fearless and immeasurably strong -- not much can crack through your defenses. You intrigue people who can't help but wonder why you're the way you are. A loner and one who spends much of that time brooding and contemplating life and death -- you are a time bomb waiting to explode...
.....and create some destruction of your own.....
You have a certain fascination or attraction to destruction on a massive scale -- disasters, perhaps even death or the concept of the Apocalypse. Because you hold so much inside, one day you're simply going to snap.
Then the mask will fall away and your true wings will be revealed. Until then you will deal with whatever comes your way in an icy, bitter silence and acceptance. On the positive side, you are fearless and immeasurably strong -- not much can crack through your defenses. You intrigue people who can't help but wonder why you're the way you are. A loner and one who spends much of that time brooding and contemplating life and death -- you are a time bomb waiting to explode...
.....and create some destruction of your own.....
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
Revelations
So it's starting to become crystal clear as opposed to any uncertainty and clouded vision that I've invited people into my life that I absolutely should never have even said hi to. Within the last 48 hours, 3 people total have continued to show their content of character and what type of person they really are and the quality of human being they are...or should I say lack thereof. And unfortunately for me, I was either unaware of these outstanding defects at the time or was turning a blind eye to those shortcomings because I was enamored with some other aspect of them that I found endearing that I did want to get to know.
Unfortunately, now that I know them better and I see what they really are bringing to the table and what comes with the package if I am to have them in my life as friends, there comes a whole lot of other shit too. Shit that, quite frankly, I don't have the time, patience, tolerance, or sympathy for and I want them gone. As I type this I know at this very moment 2 of these 3 people are probably having a discussion about me in which one of these assholes is throwing me under the bus and painting me out to be the villain. But I've reached that point where I just don't give a single flying fuck and am in no rush to come to my own rescue and even defend myself. Say whatever you want, paint me out to be the next Hitler, i just dont care.
Then to top it off, the other individual told me he was organizing a meeting between the 3 of us so the story of "what really happened" can come out. Yet again, regardless of my track record of being honest and authentic, my integrity is being called into question. So I told him no. No I would not be present nor would I participate and, most likely, get into a shouting contest with this bitch who wants to make herself out to be some poor girl down on her luck and for me to be some catty lying faggot who has nothing better to do than to make up stories about her. Bitch don't flatter yourself. You ain't worth the effort it would take to even concoct any scheme having to do with getting one up on you because you're a fucking nobody.
Fucking people are stupid
Unfortunately, now that I know them better and I see what they really are bringing to the table and what comes with the package if I am to have them in my life as friends, there comes a whole lot of other shit too. Shit that, quite frankly, I don't have the time, patience, tolerance, or sympathy for and I want them gone. As I type this I know at this very moment 2 of these 3 people are probably having a discussion about me in which one of these assholes is throwing me under the bus and painting me out to be the villain. But I've reached that point where I just don't give a single flying fuck and am in no rush to come to my own rescue and even defend myself. Say whatever you want, paint me out to be the next Hitler, i just dont care.
Then to top it off, the other individual told me he was organizing a meeting between the 3 of us so the story of "what really happened" can come out. Yet again, regardless of my track record of being honest and authentic, my integrity is being called into question. So I told him no. No I would not be present nor would I participate and, most likely, get into a shouting contest with this bitch who wants to make herself out to be some poor girl down on her luck and for me to be some catty lying faggot who has nothing better to do than to make up stories about her. Bitch don't flatter yourself. You ain't worth the effort it would take to even concoct any scheme having to do with getting one up on you because you're a fucking nobody.
Fucking people are stupid
Tuesday, December 15, 2015
I put my foot down, and God heard me
So in recovery I've been taught one of the most amazing life skills/coping skills that there is to have in your arsenal of navigating through life. And that's the notion of boundaries: setting them and maintaining them so as not to feel violated or so you don't end up being victimized. Once you learn how to do this, it's amazing what it does to your self-esteem and your confidence in yourself and in your ability to make decisions to take care of yourself. Usually, in recovery literature for example, when they talk of setting boundaries, they are referring to setting boundaries with people in your life. They never have referred to it in the context to which I took it today.
Things have been going so terribly lately, that I felt as though life were just attacking me on all sides, from all fronts, and without reprieve or remorse; that every thing around me was slowly but surely and progressively crumbling to rubble and there was nothing I could do to stop it; that everything I could or would do would still result in the same thing: failure and ruin and defeat.
So this morning I made the decision to go to a meeting at 10:30, kind of as a way to try and start my day off on a positive note, instead of the pessimistic, jaded, nasty, resentful frame of mind I woke up with this morning. On the walk to the bus stop and during the bus ride to the meeting I was mulling over all the events of the past few weeks and analyzing the current state of things that my life had become and I reached a decision. Not only did I reach a decision, but I felt solid in it and confident in it and that I would take no nonsense regarding it and that I was absolutely serious.
So, with this new inner knowledge, I walked into that meeting, sat down, waited a couple minutes and then said my name and that I was an addict and I proceeded to share my truth that I had recently come to terms with on the bus ride over: that things were just continuing to go wrong left and right, one after the other; that I felt like no matter what I did or would/could do, it was all going to end in disaster anyway. However, just because these were the cards that life was handing me did not mean I had to continue playing. I then challenged God to really tend to and take care of my life because I refused to participate or play in some game or contest that is rigged for my demise; to play in any game where I'm going to lose either way and that I'm set up from the start for failure....that in 2 weeks time, if things hadn't turned around in some way, shape, or form, that I was going to kill myself. No questions asked and no hesitation.
An eerie, uncomfortable silence settled over the room and the meeting then continued. Of course, there were plenty of people that wanted to put their 2 cents in about what I said after the meeting but I pretty much just ignored all of them and walked away because, quite honestly, I couldn't give a FUCK what people thought about what I said. Yes everyone is entitled to an opinion; but that does not leave me in any obligation to have to listen to or entertain it.
I felt the meeting, took the bus back towards home, then, as I was walking home, my phone rang. It was a case worker from AFAN with some news she thought I might like to know.....the housing assistance program that's been helping me pay my rent and keep a roof over my head has devastated a huge portion of the less fortunate population here in Vegas, and they couldn't just let that happen and not do something to help, because per the terms of the cancellation of the program, all recipients of the assistance had only 60 days to make other living arrangements. Then she dropped the bomb on me: A grantee on their board saw what was going on and gave the okay to fund AFAN's own program that would provide the same assistance to all of the recipients FOR A FULL YEAR.
Problem: SOLVED. I am no longer going to be homeless come February 1st.
Then, as if God hadn't already sent a big enough of a miracle straight down to me, I got inside my apartment and shortly after that I heard my phone go off, notifying me I had an email. I checked it and gosh, wouldn't ya know that I received from the HR department at The Cosmopolitan and they wanted to interview me ASAP for an administrative assistant position with their offices. My interview is Thursday. =)
So yes, I practiced boundary setting today. With God. And that old fart heard me and answered with "okay, you win, my bad." I'm so relieved and grateful and thankful. I still can't believe it =)
Things have been going so terribly lately, that I felt as though life were just attacking me on all sides, from all fronts, and without reprieve or remorse; that every thing around me was slowly but surely and progressively crumbling to rubble and there was nothing I could do to stop it; that everything I could or would do would still result in the same thing: failure and ruin and defeat.
So this morning I made the decision to go to a meeting at 10:30, kind of as a way to try and start my day off on a positive note, instead of the pessimistic, jaded, nasty, resentful frame of mind I woke up with this morning. On the walk to the bus stop and during the bus ride to the meeting I was mulling over all the events of the past few weeks and analyzing the current state of things that my life had become and I reached a decision. Not only did I reach a decision, but I felt solid in it and confident in it and that I would take no nonsense regarding it and that I was absolutely serious.
So, with this new inner knowledge, I walked into that meeting, sat down, waited a couple minutes and then said my name and that I was an addict and I proceeded to share my truth that I had recently come to terms with on the bus ride over: that things were just continuing to go wrong left and right, one after the other; that I felt like no matter what I did or would/could do, it was all going to end in disaster anyway. However, just because these were the cards that life was handing me did not mean I had to continue playing. I then challenged God to really tend to and take care of my life because I refused to participate or play in some game or contest that is rigged for my demise; to play in any game where I'm going to lose either way and that I'm set up from the start for failure....that in 2 weeks time, if things hadn't turned around in some way, shape, or form, that I was going to kill myself. No questions asked and no hesitation.
An eerie, uncomfortable silence settled over the room and the meeting then continued. Of course, there were plenty of people that wanted to put their 2 cents in about what I said after the meeting but I pretty much just ignored all of them and walked away because, quite honestly, I couldn't give a FUCK what people thought about what I said. Yes everyone is entitled to an opinion; but that does not leave me in any obligation to have to listen to or entertain it.
I felt the meeting, took the bus back towards home, then, as I was walking home, my phone rang. It was a case worker from AFAN with some news she thought I might like to know.....the housing assistance program that's been helping me pay my rent and keep a roof over my head has devastated a huge portion of the less fortunate population here in Vegas, and they couldn't just let that happen and not do something to help, because per the terms of the cancellation of the program, all recipients of the assistance had only 60 days to make other living arrangements. Then she dropped the bomb on me: A grantee on their board saw what was going on and gave the okay to fund AFAN's own program that would provide the same assistance to all of the recipients FOR A FULL YEAR.
Problem: SOLVED. I am no longer going to be homeless come February 1st.
Then, as if God hadn't already sent a big enough of a miracle straight down to me, I got inside my apartment and shortly after that I heard my phone go off, notifying me I had an email. I checked it and gosh, wouldn't ya know that I received from the HR department at The Cosmopolitan and they wanted to interview me ASAP for an administrative assistant position with their offices. My interview is Thursday. =)
So yes, I practiced boundary setting today. With God. And that old fart heard me and answered with "okay, you win, my bad." I'm so relieved and grateful and thankful. I still can't believe it =)
Falling apart
Everything is slowly, but surely, falling apart. The deadline to either find a roommate to help produce the required amount of income for my complex management to allow me to stay is not looking very promising right now. Nor is the potential new roommate search. Which means, if I don't find, I'm going to have to look into the price of storage units and what it'll cost to store all my belongings there for a little while until I can get my own place again. And that breaks my heart. After finally achieving some independence and learning what it's like to live and behave like an adult (it's only taken 30 years), I refuse to go back to some horrendous alternative situation like another sober living house or transitional living house. I don't need EITHER of those and I'd ra. nSo Ither have them save the space and bed for someone who is really kickin' off something.
I've still got to start posting ads for "roommate wanted", repost the microwave for sale ad on Craigslist, read through every job advertisement on Craigslist that even remotely matches my skill set and then send off my resume to their add reply email address,
Then there's the added pressure of "if I'm going to make this work I need a fucking job. Like, yesterday. So I'm officially hitting the ground running in that department and am trying to have faith that not only will God provide a job for me, but it'll be just the right one for me for where I'm at right and that this is one of those situations where I'm fully acknowledging how powerless I really am, and that what I want and desire and feel like I need or should have is of absolutely no consequence nor does anyone care.
Perfect example. So I was feeling ballsy last night and decided to maybe try breaking down that almost tangible barrier that he's thrown up around himself that is basically people repellent and it's hard to even attempt to get close to him because of the energy/vibrations he gives off. It's that look...you know the "i've been in prison for 10 years" bit. Last night I officially made a move and tried reaching out and possibly bridging the gap. But, SURPRISE!!!!!!!
MORE REJECTION. There is, clearly, something very wrong with me as nobody wants anything to do with me. I understand it's nobody else's responsibility to care care ourselves. However, when ltsomeone is just asking for help with something as simple as buying laundry detergent or putting food in their fridge....where the fuck is the compassion? I am not coming or venting from a place of feeling self-entitlement, but it's just like "why the fuck am I always the one struggling like this." And to top it off: mom is completely disconnected between her, her role in all this, and why some of the culpability and my actions are all a direct result of her wanting to control my finances for so long and her willful stubborn refusal to let me take over my own MOTHERFUCKING FINANCES so I could learn to manage/spend/save appropriately. If I had been given more time to get used to what I was working with and the ebb and flow of the money I have coming in and out, I have absolute 100%that my current financial predicament would not even be happening because by this time I would've gotten more hands on practice with being responsible for my money, instead of the bullshit that's gone on over the past year such as having to ask her for "permission" to buy something (even though, yes, it was MY money). She just couldn't let go of whatever last vestiges of control she had over me and my life, and she talks a good game when it comes to recovery. But ultimately, all her codependency and obsession and need to control everything: it's all still there. Now it's just masked and hidden by a bunch of recovery lingo and slogans and the false persona that she's "recovered" when, in reality, she's just as out of touch with in as she's ever been.
I've still got to start posting ads for "roommate wanted", repost the microwave for sale ad on Craigslist, read through every job advertisement on Craigslist that even remotely matches my skill set and then send off my resume to their add reply email address,
Then there's the added pressure of "if I'm going to make this work I need a fucking job. Like, yesterday. So I'm officially hitting the ground running in that department and am trying to have faith that not only will God provide a job for me, but it'll be just the right one for me for where I'm at right and that this is one of those situations where I'm fully acknowledging how powerless I really am, and that what I want and desire and feel like I need or should have is of absolutely no consequence nor does anyone care.
Perfect example. So I was feeling ballsy last night and decided to maybe try breaking down that almost tangible barrier that he's thrown up around himself that is basically people repellent and it's hard to even attempt to get close to him because of the energy/vibrations he gives off. It's that look...you know the "i've been in prison for 10 years" bit. Last night I officially made a move and tried reaching out and possibly bridging the gap. But, SURPRISE!!!!!!!
MORE REJECTION. There is, clearly, something very wrong with me as nobody wants anything to do with me. I understand it's nobody else's responsibility to care care ourselves. However, when ltsomeone is just asking for help with something as simple as buying laundry detergent or putting food in their fridge....where the fuck is the compassion? I am not coming or venting from a place of feeling self-entitlement, but it's just like "why the fuck am I always the one struggling like this." And to top it off: mom is completely disconnected between her, her role in all this, and why some of the culpability and my actions are all a direct result of her wanting to control my finances for so long and her willful stubborn refusal to let me take over my own MOTHERFUCKING FINANCES so I could learn to manage/spend/save appropriately. If I had been given more time to get used to what I was working with and the ebb and flow of the money I have coming in and out, I have absolute 100%that my current financial predicament would not even be happening because by this time I would've gotten more hands on practice with being responsible for my money, instead of the bullshit that's gone on over the past year such as having to ask her for "permission" to buy something (even though, yes, it was MY money). She just couldn't let go of whatever last vestiges of control she had over me and my life, and she talks a good game when it comes to recovery. But ultimately, all her codependency and obsession and need to control everything: it's all still there. Now it's just masked and hidden by a bunch of recovery lingo and slogans and the false persona that she's "recovered" when, in reality, she's just as out of touch with in as she's ever been.
Thursday, December 10, 2015
Situations Update
Well, the "Terrence Affair" is over. Which also means that my front runner for position of my new roommate is now wide open and available...With no runners at the top that I have as back ups. I don't know what I'm going to do. Moving forward and to stay in the solution, I guess I should: A - keep hunting for potential roommates and also draft up an ad for a Craigslist advertisement advertising my search and getting some traffic and potential candidates stirred up. I also have started another project to move out of this fucked up situation with my mom and my finances. It's another "action plan" of what to do to get off Chex Systems registry, get my debt paid off, and therefore eligible to open my own banking account with a major financial institution again without having anybody's name attached to it; it will solely be MINE. And btw, mom has officially had it with me and wants to withdraw completely from any involvement in my finances, which, I'll admit, has both drawbacks and positive attributes. But I know it's the best thing to do because she needs to fucking let go and let me feel what it's really like to be managing (or mis-managing) my money and what it feels like if I'm fucking up or if I'm learning new positive behaviors. Only way for me to learn, I've realized, is for me to be in the thick of it and to bang my head against the wall if that's what it takes. I was stressed and trying to stuff down my feelings of panic and anxiety and fear over all of this that's going on.
But then I did my morning readings (the Just for Today and Language of Letting Go) and was reminded about a little concept called "Faith." God has never put in front of a situation or a problem that I wasn't able to somehow survive, overcome, or solve. A solution always revealed itself, on God's time, not mine. And I know it looks bleak right now...But the Universe has always provided me with what I need to get through to the other side of obstacles I've had in the past. I have to have faith that this time will be no different.
Faith, trust, and hope.
But then I did my morning readings (the Just for Today and Language of Letting Go) and was reminded about a little concept called "Faith." God has never put in front of a situation or a problem that I wasn't able to somehow survive, overcome, or solve. A solution always revealed itself, on God's time, not mine. And I know it looks bleak right now...But the Universe has always provided me with what I need to get through to the other side of obstacles I've had in the past. I have to have faith that this time will be no different.
Faith, trust, and hope.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
December 8 -- Valuing Our Needs
When we don't ask for what we want and need, we discount ourselves. We deserve better.
Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs.
Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.
Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.
Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and important on our needs, we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.
Today, I will respect the wants and needs of myself and others. I will tel myself, others, and my Higher Power what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too
Maybe others taught us it wasn't polite or appropriate to speak up for ourselves. The truth is, if we don't, our unmet wants and needs may ultimately come back to haunt our relationships. We may end up feeling angry or resentful, or we may begin to punish someone else for not guessing what we need. We may end the relationship because it doesn't meet our needs.
Intimacy and closeness are only possible in a relationship when both people can say what they want and need. Sustained intimacy demands this.
Sometimes, we may even have to demand what we want. That's called setting a boundary. We do this not to control another person, but to gain control of our life.
Our attitude toward our needs is important too. We must value them and take them seriously if we expect others to take us seriously. When we begin to place value and important on our needs, we'll see a remarkable change. Our wants and needs will begin to get met.
Today, I will respect the wants and needs of myself and others. I will tel myself, others, and my Higher Power what I want and need. I will listen to what they want and need too
Don't be daft. Someone needs a reality check
And that someone is me. So a knight showed up at just the right time...so what? That doesn't mean he's gonna look one glance your way. You have nothing to offer anyone right now other than your own mess of a life and your own issues you're working through that nobody should have the torture of having to work through with you. There's a billion and one better options out there and the thought that maybe, just maybe, you actually had some appeal to someone is laughable. Wake up bitch. Nobody wants you. Just keep your head down and mind your business. Ain't nobody gonna bother you or disrupt you and your little package of crazy you got going on. Just keep chugging along and keep it together.
Wednesday, December 2, 2015
A Knight Arrives....
So some pretty significant and serious events have happened over the last 48 hours, but none of them happened out of the blue. There was definitely a culmination effect here as many little things had all added up to complete the picture I was faced with yesterday, which I finally put my foot down, set a boundary, and put an end to and altered the course of events that, without a doubt, would have eventually taken place at one point or another. I don't want to get into too specific detail as it would , most likely, give away hints as to who I am speaking of or details of my recent behaviors and vices that I choose not to divulge on here, but long story short, I had unknowingly and naively signed up for a situation that, inadvertently, put me, my freedom, my safety, and my home in direct danger of something going catastrophically wrong and could've potentially resulted in me going to jail or prison for a very long time. I was completely oblivious to all of this because, as I said before, it was a culmination of several little things here and there and went by my radar as seemingly common place and that nothing was wrong that, ultimately, built up to be its own monster of a situation that required dealing with. And it wouldn't have been dealt with, I'd probably still be in this situation, and, down the road, I probably would've found myself in handcuffs if it hadn't been for somebody I met yesterday by sheer chance out of nowhere that entered my life like some angel descending from heaven, providing insight and truths and mystery-revealing facts and revelations about what was going on around me and even more things about myself that I had never and would never have stopped to take the time to ask myself. Basically, this bitch told me about myself yesterday, but in such a gentle, loving way that I heard everything he had to say, and processed every single word of it, and knew a change had to be made immediately, and that action was required. And action was taken....it was not received well and I am less one friend as a result, but when looking at the big picture and what this friend had me involved in, it's blatantly obvious that this person did not have my best interests at heart and those are exactly the type of people I DON'T want in my life today.
But this knight in shining armor does. I'm not quite sure what to make of him yet. Or, after a very lengthy and emotionally charged conversation yesterday regarding reasons we're each so closed off, I'm not also what to make sure of us. But if my assumptions are correct, I believe we may be on the same page.....if not the same page, then at least somewhere in the same book. We just have to find a way to meet up with each other along the way. That's all for now, but one absolute fact I can state about him is this:
He is absolutely jaw-droppingly amazing and like an angel sent from God.
Stay tuned
But this knight in shining armor does. I'm not quite sure what to make of him yet. Or, after a very lengthy and emotionally charged conversation yesterday regarding reasons we're each so closed off, I'm not also what to make sure of us. But if my assumptions are correct, I believe we may be on the same page.....if not the same page, then at least somewhere in the same book. We just have to find a way to meet up with each other along the way. That's all for now, but one absolute fact I can state about him is this:
He is absolutely jaw-droppingly amazing and like an angel sent from God.
Stay tuned
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