Death Toll Count: 1

So today I discovered that someone from the program died on Saturday due to a heroin overdose.  I didn't really know her, but that doesn't take anything away from the harsh reality that is:  that this thing is out for blood and that it does not discriminate.  It also served as a harsh reminder of the effect death has on people that are close to the individual who dies and that I almost caused a similar effect to those around me 3 weeks ago when I swallowed 60 Clonopin.  I thought I would be doing you all a favor by putting myself out of my own misery and sparing you all the heartbreak and disappointment of yet another failure on my part.  Instead, I see now how selfish a self-induced death is.  I am reminded again that at the core of this disease is self-centeredness.  It was rough to sit through my noon meeting today and hear the girls who were close to the deceased share on what they were feeling as a result of her actions.  But in light of Anna's death, I was reminded of something I've learned:  that some of us have to die in order for the rest of us to get it.  It's  a harsh reality, but true nonetheless, and today, I do not want to become yet another statistic like this poor girl became over the weekend. Just for today, I choose life.