Fuckery

That word is how I can best describe what today was filed with:  absolute and total fuckery.  While I was lucky enough to have slipped into an opening spot in my doctor's schedule for my hospital stay follow up, the visit did not go as planned and all of my goals for what I wanted to walk out of there with were totally shot down topped off with an explanation of "go get a PCP (primary care physician) " which royally pissed me off.
The rest of the afternoon was uneventful...until the 2:30 meeting I went to.  All was going well (it turned out to be a birthday meeting so there were more people in attendance than usual for a Wednesday afternoon).  But, us being addicts and sometimes fucking up, personalities came before principles and shit got loud and tense for a second.  But I let it go, shrugged it off instead of destroying the old piece of shit like I wanted to, and let the moment go.
Fast forward a couple hours and here's the thing that really got my blood boiling and has had me pissed off all night:  I got into a little verbal scuffle with my new roommate.  I've been re-reading back through the conversation; reading what she said/how she worded her responses, reading what I said it and how I was wording stuff, and I realized a couple things.  One:  we were both holding back what we REALLY wanted to say and were acting extremely diplomatic out of respect and regard for one another, because underneath the nicities and politeness, I could tell each of us wanted to reach through the phone and bitch slap the other and call the other a cunt and tell the other to STFU.    Two:  we both have the same "fighting styles."  As I read through the conversation and saw the hostility, volatility, and intensity of our responses escalating, I could sense that each of us was starting to reach that point where we go into "destroy mode" and we demolish our target.  That being the case, I need to always from this point on keep this in mind because if left unheeded and unregarded, another verbal altercation in the future, if left completely unchecked and un-monitored, could blow up into World War 3 with a huge fall out and epic damage dealt to both sides.  Because K_____ is just like me:  in it to win it.  
This whole thing has just been me bitching ab.ck.  I'll be fine, but definitely learned some things today.  At the end of it all, I'm grateful I get to go to sleep soon and have it be over and hit the "reset" button and start all over again tomrrow.