Forcing Myself

So after getting my ass chewed out by two of my closest friends in recovery that I respect very much and value their opinion more so than many other people, I made a decision today to follow their guidance and direction and feedback they gave me last night in regards to some unsavory behavior I've been taking part in over the past couple of weeks:  shoplifting and being incredibly promiscuous.  And my justification/rationalization/excuse for why it was all okay was "so what if I'm acting out in other areas of my disease; at least I didn't pick up."  Well my one friend, A_____ wasn't having any of that bullshit and quickly replied "that is no excuse.  You're getting high just off of your defects and acting out in them."  She continued on to chew me out (out of love of course) but it was still really uncomfortable because she pulled a lot of my covers that I've been hiding under to make my recent behavior acceptable in my mind.  But bottom line is:  it isn't acceptable and it's on through luck and the grace of my Higher Power that I haven't suffered any consequences (yet) as a result of my stupid actions and retarded behaviors).  Cuz really, let's be honest:  if I land up in jail again CLEAN, I would die and be mortified and ashamed beyond repair.  So the solution they said was to tell my sponsor about everything I had just told them about, which I haven't been telling him because I was afraid that he would "fire" me at the first sign of unsatisfactory behavior and that he was expecting perfection, not progress which resulted in me being kind of scared to be totally honest with him for weeks now.
But today, after processing what they said last night, especially what they said that if I'm not getting honest with my sponsor and opening myself up to be vulnerable to this one person who is signed up to help me fix, my thinking, and show me a new way to live, then I'm fucking wasting his time, I decided to come clean to T___ and called him and laid it all out for him.  And to  my surprise, I wasn't rejected like I was expecting to be.  In fact he said that that level of honesty was what I should be doing because I need to be telling him this stuff so he can learn to get to know me and how my disease works on me so he can help me.  If I'm not completely forthcoming from him; if I'm keeping secrets from him; if I'm sponsoring myself, then nothing will change and I'll be stuck in this same rut that I feel like I'm in right now indefinitely .  And I don't want to feel this way anymore.