I haven't written in a few days. To be totally honest: this detox has been rougher than I thought it'd be. I haven't been able to keep a coherent thought or keep my focus on anything for longer than a few seconds. I've been all over the place, including having a couple of panic attacks. Even sitting down to write this is requiring effort. But I haven't copped. I've stuck to my guns and today is day 10. I've just been eating and sleeping a lot. I've also made it a point to reach out to people every day so that I'm not alone and stuck with my own thoughts for too long. Still no word from A_____y either. I emailed him today asking for my key to the apartment back but no response has come yet. I really wanted to maintain a friendship with him but if I want to stay clean it doesn't look like that's a possibility. The people who have remained in contact with me and are supporting me have made themselves known. And I'm alright with that and with who's remained. To all those people: you know who you are. Thank you for the love and support and your kindness, especially during this time when I need it most. I feel like the only thing I can focus on right now is not picking up and you guys are loving me when I'm not in any position to do it for myself.
I was able to make it to a meeting today and I had "arts and crafts" time when I got home. It's been fun reconnecting with things that I enjoy, including writing. Hopefully I can get back in the saddle and continue writing daily now.
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