Jedi Master

So my new sponsor is nothing short of a Jedi Master.  Although, for those of you that know him, he's probably bearing more of a similar appearance to Darth Vader, being all tall n' black n' shit, but I am going to liken him to Yoda, as the wisdom, experience, strength, and guidance this man is giving to me on a daily basis is nothing short of a true gift from God.  

Two instances in the last 24 hours are standing out for me.  In the first, it's concerning a phone list I received at a meeting recently.  Upon receiving it and after mulling it over for a while at home, I decided that I was going to do something different for a change and actually use the phone list and call some people from it.  Well not exactly call...I decided to text.  I thought I was doing all fine and good with this decision since I would be jumping out of my comfort zone a little bit and reaching out to new people I didn't know.  Upon telling my sponsor, however, I was quickly told "Woah woah woah...back up.  Everything was great until you started being stupid."  In a nutshell, he told me the whole reason of a phone list was for me to CALL the people on it and step out of my comfort zone of isolation and keeping myself separated from other people, and that hiding behind a text message was not going to cut it.  So bam, lesson #1 right there.

Lesson #2 involves the current fight I'm having between myself and, as I've taken to calling her over the past 24 hours, the "Dragon Lady" (aka my mother).  To make a long story short and condense it to the essentials:  she fell short of some responsibilities that she had and fucked up and is refusing to either acknowledge or apologize for any wrong doing and is accusing me of being crazy like I'm making shit up, and to make matters worse is then hiding behind recovery lingo and al-anon slogans to show how "recovered" she is so that she doesn't have to take part in my "insanity."  Bitch, holding you accountable for your actions (or inactions in this case) is not insanity.  How I'm gonna show up at your house and break every fucking window there if you hang up on me one more time....THAT'S insanity.  But after telling my sponsor all of this and venting he got me to cool down, and essentially talked me off the ledge of doing something stupid and got me back into the voice of reason and reminded me that I'm going to need her before she's going to need me, that I should pick my battles, and that, on this one, I need to let her off the hook.  And as much as it kills me, I know he's right, and I'm going to have to.  

Even though I KNOW the bitch fucked up.  

I am not crazy or making this shit up.  

Stay tuned...