Lack of Adulting

So today I'm finally tending to some areas of my responsibilities and life that have gone completely ignored for the past week.  I dunno what came over me, but for the past week I've been completely fucking off my entire day(s) and K_____ and I have just been hanging out and being lazy.  While it's nice to have company and have her slowly easing into and transitioning moving in here, I couldn't help but notice that we enable each other to not be productive because we have so much fun hanging out and talking because we're on the same page when it comes to a lot of view points and opinions and outlooks as far as the world around us goes.  The end result, however, is I've had this nagging feeling in the back of my brain as each day goes on and it's getting more intense and louder with each passing day that I don't tend to certain things that I know need attention or the more I skip over some part of my daily routine that I, normally, wouldn't skip, but have skipped for a few consecutive days in a row.
Like my step work.  I didn't write on it yesterday or the day before and I can definitely feel the difference and I also feel guilty and disappointed in myself for not being disciplined enough to keep up that commitment to recovery where I'm writing on whatever step I'm on every day so that I'm continually doing something towards recovery and not stagnating.
My meeting attendance has slipped a little bit too, whereas I was going to 2 a day there for a bit, I'm now down to 1 a day or at least every other day, but I don't like that either because I feel like I'm compromising on my commitment to a 90 in 90.  And then that feeds into my fear of disappointing my sponsor and my mom and not getting their approval, which as all of you know that I suffer from severe codependency issues, is just about as one of the worst fates I could ask for.  The second I know I've stopped gaining the approval of somebody that matters to me, I freak out and look for ways to overcompensate or other ways to change how I'm feeling so that I don't have to sit with the disappointment in MYSELF that I've disappointed someone else.  It's all a really sick cycle that gets me trapped in my own head and thoughts, which as those of you who know me well, know that these thoughts that I can get trapped in are purely self-hating, self-defeating, and self-absorbed, and then I just get stuck in a dark place and it's a downhill ride from there.

So basically, today I'm making a catch up day and making sure that I provide the appropriate attention to time to each of my responsibilities that I've neglected over the past few days, whether that's sitting at my desk and writing on my step for an hour or just for 15 minutes, as long as I dedicate some time to it is what I'm after, and also making sure that everything that I write down on my list of tasks and items to do today on my to do list get taken care of, no excuses.  I need to hold myself and my actions accountable to myself because it's not anybody else's job to keep me in check and to behave like a responsible adult. That's my job to self-manage.  So I better step up to the plate and do a good fucking job, because nobody is going to save my ass if I let things fall apart like I did a few weeks ago when I ran my bank account into the ground.  Time to do some adulting.