#AlarmClcokFAIL

So I feel totally out of whack now that my Sunday has gotten off on a misstep and an out of the ordinary start.  My usual routine for Sunday is waking up around 8:00 - 8:15, doing my morning meditations, journal/blogging, having my coffee and breakfast, then getting dressed and heading out the door by 9:00 - 9:15 for my homegroup "Sunday Morning Meeting" at the 3M Club at 9:30.  Well, unfortunately for me, I guess in a sleep stupor I decide to shut my alarm off this morning and not even fully wake up to do it because I didn't wake up on time...at all.  I slept in until around 9:45 and my phone showed that the alarm clock had gone off, I just had deactivated it, which I blame on the Ambien because one of the side effects is doing stuff in your sleep that you don't remember (for me it's been eating lol).  So, because my lazy ass decided to shut my alarm off, I ended up missing my home group today and I feel totally off balance and kinda full of anxiety for some reason for having missed my routine weekly meeting that I am usually at without fail.  When you choose a meeting as your homegroup you are making the commitment to be there regularly and every week to let other members get to know you and so that there is a familiar face there every week should a newcomer start coming to that meeting.  And I fucking missed it this week and I hate missing commitments; it makes me feel like shit.
Luckily, my close friend A_____ is speaking at a meeting at 6:00 pm tonight at another meeting also at the 3M Club so I have the opportunity to hit a meeting today period, whereas if I had missed the 9:30 meeting, there usually isn't another meeting I like to go to on Sundays and I'd be shit outa luck and meetingless for today.
In other news, I need to have a fire lit under my ass as far as starting up the new business with K______.  She put me in charge of admin/admin duties on the company Facebook site and also set me up with a Google+ email and I have yet to log in and log some time into customizing either.  Granted, we don't have any clients yet to see the lack of effort I've been displaying, but in this case I'm thinking in the "if you advertise it/market it, they will come: philosophy.  Our first few clients are probably going to be through sheer word of mouth and individual independent contractors and people with super small businesses who are just looking to join the social media networking band wagon.  But that's fine.  A few clients to start off with and earn some income is better than no clients and having no traffic and earning no income.  So I need to get on board with this thing and quick, because I feel like K______ is already light years ahead of me in terms of knowing what it's gonna take to get things started and as far as business concepts and practices go....at some times I still stop and think that maybe I'm not the right person to be helping her or for this job.  And that's when I try to remind myself that that's my disease talking to me in my own voice trying to talk me out of success and keep me in negativity, mediocrity, and in my comfort zone and not branching out to try anything different or unfamiliar.  Which is usually followed by me telling myself to shut the fuck up and to just shut up and do it.  Which leads to even more confusion because then I'm not sure if I'm right or wrong in hesitating as far as my capability to handle what is'going to require of me to get this thing started.

*sigh*/

It's rough being me lol