Shift

Well, it certainly has been an interesting week.  Interesting and fucking stressful and frustrating.  My main complaint has been this stomach bug that I picked up somewhere along my adventures that has basically had me scared to leave my apartment because I needed to be in close proximity to a bathroom at all times (that's as graphic as I'm going to get, you figure out the rest).  As a result, I pretty much went the entire week without going to a meeting because of my fear of not being close to a bathroom.  My original line of thought was "oh it'll be gone in a day or 2 I'll just wait for it to pass and get back to a meeting then).  Well it didn't pass in a day or 2.  It lasted all goddamn week, and as a result I didn't go to a meeting all week, which has resulted in me being absolutely bat-shit bonkers crazy and completely self-obsessed and self-absorbed and self-defeating and negative and have been downright mean towards myself and a lot of other people I've crossed paths with this week.  Yesterday was my first day getting back into a meeting and I felt instantaneously better the moment I walked in and sat down and heard the meeting taking place.  I have to wrap this entry up here shortly because I'm going to another meeting this morning, but just wanted to check in about where I'm at this morning after this past week.  I won't go into too much detail as that will violate some anonymity and privacy of my life and other's lives I'd like to maintain, but in summary, my entire focus and attention and efforts have been centralized into certain areas that are proving to be completely fruitless and have left me feeling helpless, hopeless, lonely, frightened, skeptical, cynical, negative, mean, conniving, manipulated, manipulative, deceived, and overall, downright bitter.  After throwing in the towel last night to all of it and going to bed at 7pm last night, I slept over 12 hours, woke up this morning, and had a new sense of clarity with what I needed to do, how to go about doing it, and the actions I could take, one step at a time, to re-shift the focus from these other elements that have left me with all these negative feelings, and back on to me and feeling good about myself, my life, and my surroundings and the people I surround myself with.  That being the case, time to end this entry and take another action that will reaffirm my course correction towards positivity and well-being and prosperity and happiness:  time to go to a motherfucking meeting.