Self Sufficiency is a LIE

Got another great night's sleep.  And, again, woke up feeling oddly calm about everything that's been stressing me out lately.  What my sponsor said yesterday about ignoring myself really hit home, so as of yesterday I did some mental gymnastics and reexamined my priorities and what was placed where on the list of important things, and realized I needed to re-shuffle the list a bit and put myself back on the top, as well as my recovery.  Making at least a meeting a day, preferably 2 is now a priority.  Focusing on myself and bettering myself is again a priority.  Not inviting drama, disease, ill-will, negative energy, or those who don't have my best interests at heart is now a priority.  Reconnecting with my friends in my "inner circle" and my support group is now a priority.  Reconnecting with my mom is again a priority.  All of these things, I realized, are things that I've been lacking over the last couple weeks and have resulted in me feeling shaky and unsure of myself in all areas of my life, second guessing myself with whatever I was doing and asking myself if I was doing the right thing or not no matter what I was doing:  and I HATE second guessing myself and not being confident in myself or my actions and knowing that I'm doing the right thing.  So what better place to reaffirm knowing what/how to do the next right thing than by throwing myself head first back into meetings and recovery and also making the effort to make sure I reach out to my friends every single day whether it's through a phone call or a quick text message; just so that I made the effort to stay connected, let them know I'm alive and thinking of them, that I need them, and to know they're alive and kickin' too.  Because, the Basic Text says it best:  "self-sufficiency is a lie."  
I also sucked it up and started working on a writing assignment my sponsor gave me a few days ago.  I've been avoiding working on it because I looked at the questions he wanted me to answer and I chose to ignore it for a few days because I realized that some of the answers were going to be painful or uncomfortable to look at, so I figured if I just buried my head in the sand and ignored it that it would go away.  Needless to say, that's not how reality works, because the assignment was still there when I took my head out of the sand.  So last night I finally sat down and started working on it.  And yes, as expected, from the first question, it was extremely uncomfortable and sorta depressing to write out some of the things I was feeling, but applying myself to bettering myself through recovery takes discipline and commitment and I'm committed to not being a fucking crazy mess, so if that means working on this assignment, then working on this assignment is what I'll do.
That's all for now.  Time to get ready for meeting #1 of the day.
Stay tuned faithful viewers.  More will be revealed.