So I was supposed to/planning on going to a 10 AM meeting at the 3M Club...However, I, apparently, was too comfortable and cozy because I slept RIGHT through that alarm and I just woke up a little while ago. That kinda stinks because the meeting I was planning on going to is a good meeting (been there once, it's a men's stag meeting, and I loved it), and the pickings for meetings close to me for the rest of the day are slim. But I just checked the schedule and found the 9 PM at Mountain View Hospital "Saturday Night Surrender" so that's on my meeting/recovery agenda for the day.
I'm also finding myself sending up quite a few prayers to God regarding the interview I had yesterday. It wasn't until the interview was over and I had a chance to think about the implications of acquiring that position and what it would mean for me, both for my self-esteem and for me financially, and I realized: I REALLY want this job. The only thing that might be a road block is the fact that I don't have my own car, because Coco (the boss lady I was interviewed by) said that sometimes they need someone to go post notices on various properties under their company, and that's when I told her I commute via bus and she said that might be a problem =\ So hopefully they see my skill set and what I have to offer if hired, and the whole bus issue can be overlooked.
Additionally, the countless emails I've been sending out and time spent on job hunting is really starting to bear some fruit because I'm not starting to receive floods of calls and emails from employers responding to my cover letter and resume. I have another interview scheduled with a luxury home company Monday morning at 10:30, so I've got to print out more copies of my resume and get ready for another opportunity to knock someone's socks off Monday morning.
I know some of you reading this are wondering what effect this will have on my recovery, and some of you have clearly stated that getting a job is not the right thing to do right now because my focus will shift from recovery to the job. But I've thought about it, and to obtain and retain a job, the focus sort of HAS to be shifted because maintaining that job and your livelihood is a priority just as recovery is. Plus, honestly, all this free time I have on my hands is no good for me because with too much free time I end up losing the wind in my sails and easily fall into laziness and complacency and tend to fuck off my responsibilities more so than if I were to have a routine schedule and have things I'm held accountable to, like showing up to work on time, leaving the apartment on time to make sure I have enough time to commute via busses to my job, etc. So if I become employed, I may not be making 2 or 3 meetings a day like I've been trying to do, but 1 meeting a day is sufficient and if I happen to miss a day here or there, it's not the end of the world. What matters is staying connected, staying grounded, humble, honest, in integrity, open-minded, willing, and keeping faith in my God to take care of me on this new chapter of my life that could potentially happen here after not having a job for the past 3 years.
So keep your fingers crossed and send up a prayer or two for me. I really want this job...fuck, ANY job. Something to channel my motivation and creativity and skill sets and talents into other than just sitting and reading and journaling all day every day. Recovery is great, but it needs to lead to other things, such as being employable again. And I think I'm at that point.
I hope so at least.
xoxo
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