Yesterday was intense. I reviewed my First Step with my Sponsor and this was different than any other time that I've worked Step 1 before. The level of honest and transparency and how deep my writing went this time was noticeable and the feedback I got from my Sponsor was heard down to my very core. I also got honest with my behavior that I've been acting out in lately that needs to stop: stealing. Every time I've been to Wal-Mart in the last few months I've been stealing something. Yesterday, my Sponsor told me that it's time to start behaving in ways that reflect honesty and integrity. That really hit home for me. I also got honest about another face of my addiction that's been troubling: cutting. I haven't done it, but for a while (mainly when I was using), cutting was starting to look like an appealing solution for me and that scares me. I cannot revert back to doing that again. If I do, I won't be able to stop. And that terrifies me.
The fact that cutting actually looked like an appealing solution is evidence of just how evil and powerful and insidious this disease is.
Later in the day, mom came over for dinner and she brought Buggy with her! It was so cute to see him roaming around my apartment. My little man made himself right at home and was wandering around my apartment like he owned the joint.
Overall, I had a great week. And this weekend I'm going to enjoy myself too because I'm going to see American Sniper!!! Can't wait.
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