Retraction

The previous postings about my departure are all retracted.  Apparently my parents BOTH have a propensity for lies on such a grand scale that it resulted in me telling my father that he can fuck off and die alone -- in so many words....and my mother?  i don't think i've ever been more disgusted with a human being than i was with her....for the past week and a half, i have wanted  nothing from her but for her to suffer, and for those of you who know me, you can only imagine what the last week and a half has been like for her. 

but....as hard as this is to say, i can't stay angry forever...okay well maybe close to forever, but not at her.  and we're moving through it.  I, on the other-hand -- thanks to probably one of the best performances and execution of a massive lie that involved a plethora of other people as well -- have recently become the latest of victims in scenes that have a striking resemblance to that show on A&E...you know...the one where all the people write you letters begging you to say "yes, i'll go."   because now after being accomplices (some more so than others) to the world trying to break me and my converse reaction of basically giving it the finger, now everyone wants to come back and do damage control.  but i digress.

the point is, if i've been hard/impossible to reach the last week and a half or you've been trying to text/call me only to find out that the number isnt in service...don't worry:  i'm not dead (on the outside at least), i've just been forced to go on a mandatory...um...sabbatical, that just so happens to last for 30 days and has things like group therapy and LOTS and lots of meetings.  unfortunately for my mother's perfect plan that she perfectly concocted because of how perfect she is, Solutions isn't the sterling and pristine place of recovery they told her in their sales pitch.  It is, in fact, quite the shit show, which is why i'm home for this brief mini-respite...

Either way, bottom line:  i retract that previous post.  i am more miserable than ever, and i feel like all i have left to hold on to is my hate and loathing.  at least i have some company