Reminder

this is it.

this is what it was like before you. 

pointless and trite and repetitive and lifeless and dull and lacking purpose and redundant with no sincerity and no real value at the end of it all.

yes i've been depressed before (understatement) and anyone who knows me well will know that i've struggled with really keeping my head above the tide sometimes, but i have never ever in my entire life experienced this.  

there is a void that has been left by what i've done and the suffering and heartbreak and pain i caused you and from your absence. 

i can and will never, ever forgive myself.
i don't know where you are what you're thinking or ....really anything....other than the single greatest ruination brought unto myself was me.  i miss you so much i don't think i can stand it some times, and when i say i love you i mean it just as much as i did that first time i said it in San Diego, and i hope that one day you can forgive me and there's something better than...whatever this is