it's weird. i haven't done it since earlier this week. (Sunday night i believe if memory serves me correctly). Normally any period of not doing it would be followed by my skin eventually..like...itching? it's hard to describe, but basically i would feel like my entire top layer of skin was absolutely fucking CRAWLING just begging for it.
but i haven't done it since sunday. because "there are always excuses, but never a real reason to choose to do it." and i haven't. and now it's just weird because...
i guess i'm just not used to feeling ok? like not being in constant physical pain and having to watch how i move or how hard i scratch at a scab or something.
someone told me they were proud of me tonight too. why? i don't get it.
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