Saturday, September 4, 2010
now what did we learn?
so, i unexpectedly came across some information that...well i'm not quite sure what to do with it, if i'm going to do anything with it at all....
it's a good thing i checked the interaction checker before actually testing out this Zyprexa they wanted me to sample....
but um..yeah i then found out what happens to an individual who has the Zyprexa and Ativan (lorazepam) in his/her system.
why wouldn't i have known that shortcut like 2 months ago?
it's a good thing i checked the interaction checker before actually testing out this Zyprexa they wanted me to sample....
but um..yeah i then found out what happens to an individual who has the Zyprexa and Ativan (lorazepam) in his/her system.
why wouldn't i have known that shortcut like 2 months ago?
Friday, September 3, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
"take home something with you each time"
"and that's all i have for now..............
and that has to be enough."
that's been running through my mind all day. i know it [everything of me right now] has to be enough...but i still feel like i didn't make the qualifications to be successful at...well...anything? i'll admit i feel that i am, possibly, in a better state/frame of mind than i was last week. however, i can confidently say that while i may not be bad (or in last week's case, as ready to permanently throw in the towel as i was), i am still, definitely, not great or even good for that matter.
but i guess "that has to be enough?" :-\
i hope he's doing better. i think that's been one of the harder parts of this whole ordeal: knowing how much horror and heartache and pain i caused him. so...hopefully he's faring better and smiling and happy.
and that has to be enough."
that's been running through my mind all day. i know it [everything of me right now] has to be enough...but i still feel like i didn't make the qualifications to be successful at...well...anything? i'll admit i feel that i am, possibly, in a better state/frame of mind than i was last week. however, i can confidently say that while i may not be bad (or in last week's case, as ready to permanently throw in the towel as i was), i am still, definitely, not great or even good for that matter.
but i guess "that has to be enough?" :-\
i hope he's doing better. i think that's been one of the harder parts of this whole ordeal: knowing how much horror and heartache and pain i caused him. so...hopefully he's faring better and smiling and happy.
unconciousness required: STAT
i don't know why but i have this feeling of isolation. complete, total, absolute isolation from anything and anybody and i feel like this wave of being completely alone just tsunami-in-the-islands washed over me and completely destroyed my mental place for the evening.
none of my friends are answering their phones, nobody i feel safe talking to is online, i'm sitting here in front of my lap top listening to the Decode acoustic in the dark, and the one person i would love more than life itself to talk to wants nothing to do with me right now.
i think it's time to go sob in the shower for a while and check out for the evening.
none of my friends are answering their phones, nobody i feel safe talking to is online, i'm sitting here in front of my lap top listening to the Decode acoustic in the dark, and the one person i would love more than life itself to talk to wants nothing to do with me right now.
i think it's time to go sob in the shower for a while and check out for the evening.
acoustic? seriously? now?
i know it's probably not too smart to be listening to this. the lyrics and the original version alone are murder when you let them sink in...
but then i found this. and i fall to pieces. if you're reading this, you probably won't want to hear it, but here it is anyway:
how did we get here?
but then i found this. and i fall to pieces. if you're reading this, you probably won't want to hear it, but here it is anyway:
how did we get here?
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Worrier to Warrior - K. Cutrone
"The spirit of a warrior is not geared to
indulging and complaining, nor is it
geared to winning or losing. The spirit of
a warrior is geared only to struggle, and
every struggle is a warrior's last battle
on earth. Thus the outcome matters very
little to him. In his last battle on earth a
warrior lets his spirit flow free and clear.
And as he wages his battle, knowing
that his intent is impeccable, a warrior
laughs and laughs."
-Carlos Castaneda
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