30

I'm 30!  I'm fucking 30!  Today is my birthday.  Honestly, I'm surprised I lived this long.  Earlier in my 20s, I could've sworn I'd be dead by 26.  I had this whole idea of living fast and dying young in a blaze of glory and drugs and brilliance.  Sick right?  If it hadn't been for recovery and the intervention in 2011 I'm sure I'd be dead by now.
Turning 30 has be reflecting on some of my behaviors lately that seem so juvenile and are now unacceptable.  I'm going to blow my own cover and admit that yes, I have been cutting again.  I've been doing it for the past week and today is going to be day 1 of no more cutting.  I'm 30 years old now, enough is enough.
Another behavior that is no longer acceptable is my shoplifting.  I haven't done it in a while but that shit is so basic and juvenile that it has no place in my life anymore.
I spent my 20s wrecking my life.  Now I want to spend my 30s rebuilding it.  I want to foster emotional well-being and maturity, mental stability, growth, acceptance, integrity, and good-will.  Anything or anyone that doesn't fit in with these notions can go kick rocks.
Happy birthday to me.