"We've heard it said that we can't do this by osmosis -- in other words, we can't just attend meetings, not matter how many, and expect to breath recovery in through the pores of our skin."
Every once and a while the Just for Today reading provides a swift, stinging slap in the face. Like this morning. After reading it and reflecting on my behavior over the last 6 or so months (especially in relation to one person in particular), I had a stark realization of what my major problem was and why I was failing at every turn to improve on my behavior, my thinking, and my overall functioning as a caring, considerate human being.
I wasn't working any program. I wasn't doing the things necessary to REALLY look at my behaviors, thought patterns, and defects, to be able to identify, acknowledge, and grow from them. I was just attending meetings and thinking that that would be enough for me to get by. Unfortunately, it certainly wasn't enough to get by, and I suffered as a result, as did someone else very close to me because I kept on repeating the same mistakes over and over again, and expected different results....and we all know that that is the prime definition of insanity.
If I expect to accomplish what I want during this period and gift of time that I have to focus on myself, I have to really work this thing they call a program. It's the only way the man inside me can grow the fuck up and become what he deserves out of me.
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