Counseling Homework

So, because I'm crazy, I've started to go to counseling.  Laugh all you want, this bitch needs it. 
What is stirring up some super uncomfortable emotions right now is the "homework" she gave me that I'm currently working on:

1 - When was the last time I was vulnerable?
2 - Define vulnerability
3 - List all of my negative self-talk
4 - Write out a list of all of my "I Should be...." statements

I was okay all the way up to numbers 3 and 4.  I'm reading back over my negative self-talk and wondering how I haven't killed myself yet when I'm actually talking to myself like this:

"You're gaining weight because you're a lazy fuck who can't commit to something as simple as a workout/diet regimen."
"The fact that you stopped cutting is a joke.  You're already scarred and tore up and deserving of every scar you have.  Start cutting right away because you deserve it."
"You're a fucking coward."
"You're selfish, self-absorbed, and incapable of caring for anyone else because it interferes with your own selfish wants and needs.  No wonder Andrew and you fell apart.  He knew better."

This is proving to be a not fun exercise.