i still don't believe in god. i thought i did for a hot second, but i've been reminded that if there indeed is one that exists, he is a pig with a foul sense of humor and hates me.
but whatever cosmic guiding force or something that there is that exists out there...sure did step in on Sunday.
if anyone even still reads this and knows about a certain letter I wrote a few weeks ago, Sunday night I had put a lot of thought and "premeditated consideration" into it, and I had come to a place where I was okay with it. And that letter would've been delivered to the intended recipient, among others that I was going to write shortly before ...final curtain call I guess you could call it.
everyone i knew would be busy and at the carnival, and no one would be around or available to do something stupid like intervene. i'm sure some of you wouldn't intervene in the first place, a few in particular, which kills me, but that's besides the point.
i was literally driving home to get that show started....and that quickly got de-railed.
through the kindness of one of my friends, i ended up having probably one of the most incredible nights of this sad little life i have left. to that friend who did that for me, and probably isn't even aware of it: thank you.
i almost missed the Carnival this year kids, but it wasn't in the cards for me to miss out.
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if you're still reading....i know you're not, but regardless: what'd you think? was it everything i tried to convey to you? did you have fun? are your ears still ringing? i hope you had the best time and felt what i feel every time i go.
miss you
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