knocked out of orbit

so...as much as i've been trying to tough it out and act like nothing is wrong, i can't pretend any longer and i definitely have to go to the doctor tomorrow.  if you couldn't tell from the picture i previously posted, i recently suffered an owie..

that is an understatement:  i still don't know what happened, and all of the what ifs are starting to drive me mad, and i'm starting to get really scared over a hypothetical fear of what COULD be wrong with me, when a simple explanation/not so scary one, is the actual explanation of what happened. but all that aside, the facts are:

Sunday:  i don't know what happened, or how it happened.  but i was walking back from my bathroom to my bed (for those of you that know, it is a very very short distance),...i'm not sure how , but i basically kind of (what refer to as) came back to reality...on the floor.  i was flopping around kinda trying to get my bearings and trying to pull myself up off the floor.  at some point, i hit my head on something, resulting in the cut above my eye, which has also swelled to the size of a golfball.  also, during my fall or ...somehow, i bashed my face into a cabinet maybe? or the door, or something, resulting in the other cut/bruise on the side of my face.  at this point, i'm bleeding from my head quite a bit.  i'm profoundly dizzy and i'm still trying to get up off the floor. 

fast forward to today:  i still don't know what happened, but whatever it was has completely thrown me out of whack.  i have been an absolute wreck all week (and it's only tuesday).  i can barely concentrate,  i've had constant headaches (some worse in intensity than others).  i cannot focus on ANY task given to me at work.  i've had the WORST time remembering shit that mom told me, and for some reason, whatever happened has thrown me into a complete and total emotional basketcase.  Absolutely off the wall irrationally short-tempered and upset for no reason.  I can hardly handle answering the phone at work.  I really have no idea what happened or what it did, but whatever it is:  i think it's becoming evident that i hit my head...really really hard

i find myself getting so frustrated with myself over the last couple days as well.  i have several...actually no i have MANY things to be grateful and thankful for and to be happy about.  but i cannot snap out of whatever this emotional rut is.  i was literally FINE on saturday night when i went to bed, but ever since sunday after i kinda got myself together and cleaned up after the fall, i feel like i got knocked out of orbit and i've been just...a total rogue lunatic and completely unable to get my bearings. 

i am, however, constantly reminded of how amazing my friends are.  each of the ones with whom i spoke today said something that helped.  some of it was small one liners, and others were just proving to me about why i'm so lucky to have wise friends like them in the first place.  so to all of you i say thank you.

and especially to my mom for putting up with me the last couple days.  i know i've been a basket case.  but i have an ouchie and you know i get needy.  sorrylady :(
******************
...if you still read this:  hi.  i hope you're doing okay...you're amazing so there's no reason you wouldn't be. 

and that's all i have for now.  and that has to be enough

thank you for letting me share