it's interesting how you think you miss something so much (even if it's nothing to brag about)...then, when circumstances present itself to participate in said activity again....what can only be summarized as an epic fail occurs.
i don't remember the last time i felt as thoroughly disgusted with myself or my actions. not in a guilty/shame kind of way due to me knowing what i did was wrong in the back of my mind.
but because i was thoroughly disappointed in myself, and couldn't really figure out how i used to do said activity on the reg.
needless to say: i fell
but as fucking difficult as this is, i have to pull myself back up. i don't really have a choice in the matter..
well technically i do, but the other choice/alternative is nothing i want.
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"Honesty without compassion is brutality."
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